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Saulė Tolstych
The good old-fashioned song claims that money makes the world go round, and we have absolutely no reason to disagree.
AITA For Telling My Wife My Job Has To Come Before Hers
Oleg Tarasenko andSaulė Tolstych
The good old-fashioned song claims that money makes the world go round, and we have absolutely no reason to disagree.
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Moreover, money is definitely the greatest invention of mankind. For instance, because all other inventions, even taken together, can be bought for money. At the same time, money, despite its many advantages, also has some flaws.
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For example, because of money, many families have been destroyed at different times. Mainly, of course, due to lack of money. But it happens that because of a lot of money, family dramas arise as well.
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Do you want an example? Here it is, a brand new post on the AITA Reddit community that has already racked up around 16.6K upvotes and 3.5K comments. As we have already said, the combination of money and family drama multiplies the effect, and here that is exactly the type of family drama that takes place.
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More info: Reddit
The Original Poster and his family live in a VHCOL city
Image source: Henrique Pinto (not the actual photo) So, the Original Poster and his wife, as well as their two children, five and three years old, live in a city with a very high cost of living, but they can easily afford it. Mainly thanks to the husband, who earns about five times more than his wife, while admitting that if they received the same amounts, they would not be able to live there.
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Image source: Unique_Confusion9528
The OP has a high-paid job while his wife works a lot for much less money
Despite the high salary, the OP's work is not the most exhausting. He works approximately 35 hours a week, and the only major requirement is that he must be on call all the time for about one week every month.
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At the same time, his wife works very hard – up to 50 hours a week – has an extremely picky boss, and is often stressed at her workplace. Image source: Unique_Confusion9528
As the OP admits, he has repeatedly tried to persuade his wife to change jobs, but she, perhaps out of a sense of loyalty or just out of fear of something new, each time refused.
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As a result, it is the husband who takes on a lot of housework, cooking and childcare. Image source: Unique_Confusion9528
One day the OP and his wife both received urgent work tasks almost at the same time
Everything went on as usual, until finally, once again, the same week came, during which the OP should always be in touch.
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One day, his wife received a message from her boss that she urgently needed to fulfill a "request" from a client. As the wife herself said, this task could very well wait until the next day, but it would be better if she did it that day – just so that the next day, the boss would not grumble at her. Image source: Unique_Confusion9528
The OP didn't mind, but remarked that if he suddenly had to rush to the office, it was really urgent.
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The wife, as the OP noticed, muttered something in the affirmative in response, but nothing beyond that. And then, two hours later, the husband received a message asking him to urgently come to the office. Image source: Unique_Confusion9528
The husband wanted to rush to his office but it turned out that his wife was already doing her own task and demanded that he look after the kids while she was busy
Usually the OP could deal with such issues remotely, but now the nature of the problem required his personal presence.
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He quickly got ready and went to the exit – but then it turned out that his wife was already doing her work assignment, so somebody had to stay with kids. Image source: Unique_Confusion9528
The woman said that since her task appeared first, the husband had to wait until she did everything and tell his team that he could not do his work right now.
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The OP was indignant, stating that he just had a task that was absolutely urgent, and if he did not complete it, he could have problems at his job.
In the heat of the quarrel the OP told his wife that his job has to come before hers as it brings them way more money
A quarrel broke out, but the husband could not stand it and just left the house and went to his office. Meanwhile, his wife called him and started arguing again.
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In the heat of the moment, the OP blurted out something like, "It's only because of my job that we can afford our home and lifestyle. So my job must always take precedence over yours, otherwise we'll just end up on the street!" After that, the wife hung up.
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Image source: Engin_Akyurt (not the actual photo)
Returning home three hours later (it was already around 11pm), the OP found his kids sleeping on the couch in the living room, surrounded by cereal spills. The door to the bedroom was locked, and the wife refused to talk.
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In the morning, the children told dad that their mother had been crying in the bedroom all evening, so they had to take care of the food themselves and just go to bed in the living room.
Commenters basically supported the OP and also suggested that his wife change her stressful job
Most of the people in the comments supported the OP, outraged, first of all, by his wife's behavior, as she did not feed her kids before going to bed. In addition, according to many commenters, the husband should talk to his wife again and persuade her to change jobs – at least so that she experiences less stress.
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Some commenters suggested that the OP simply hire a nanny – but, unfortunately, as the man himself admitted, there is no such service as an emergency nanny. After all, an urgent call to work can happen at any minute throughout the whole week.
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In addition, the OP added that he had tried to persuade his wife to go to psychotherapy, but she repeatedly said something like "I'm too busy" or "they won't help me." By the way, maybe the Original Poster's wife could be helped by your advice or some brilliant fresh idea! In any case, just feel free to express your own opinion on this family drama. Anyone can write on Bored Panda.
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Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!
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Share on Facebook Oleg Tarasenko Oleg Tarasenko Writer, BoredPanda staff Oleg has master's degree in Economics he got long time ago in a city far, far away. Oleg also worked as a university teacher, sports writer and a BDSM* specialist for several IT companies.
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After six years of making pub quizzez in Ukraine, Oleg joined Bored Panda team as a content creator. This panda (Pun?
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Duh!) is also a huge sports fan, being happy as a longtime member of WeDemBoys Community and Boston Celtics Nation as well.
During his downtime from work and parenting with three kids (twin daughters and a baby son), Oleg enjoys reading JKR, JRRT, GRRM and other respective abbreviations. Also interested in history and graphic design (and the history of graphic design too)... Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design.
During his downtime from work and parenting with three kids (twin daughters and a baby son), Oleg enjoys reading JKR, JRRT, GRRM and other respective abbreviations. Also interested in history and graphic design (and the history of graphic design too)... Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design.
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The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app!
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Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 50 People Having A Miserable Day Thanks To Their Evil Coworkers (New Pics) Akvile Petraityte Woman Is About To Be Fired For Refusing To Come To The Office Because She Was Hired For A 100% Remote Job, Asks The Internet For Advice Austėja Akavickaitė Childfree Woman Wonders If She's A Jerk For Refusing To Help Out Coworker With 5 Kids Viktorija Ošikaitė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Join the conversation POST BusyLizzy BusyLizzy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago NTA.
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I think the wife's job is pushing her to breaking point and her behaviour suggests a mental heath issue. 55 55points reply Zophra Zophra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago I immediately thought so too!
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Maybe anxiety or depression. 28 28points reply Load More Replies...
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Rebecca Olds Rebecca Olds Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Probably both.....I'm in a somewhat similar situation with a demanding boss and stress filled days. Lashing out at those who care for you is common as well as feeling so bad about yourself that the idea of a new job is daunting and terrifying.
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You begin to feel like you dont know what you're good at cause your boss always degrades what skills you show. I hope they can talk it out and really be there for each other.
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5 5points reply Nikole Nikole Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago And only once you leave do you realize how bad it really was. 6 6points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago YOU need to ditch that job as well.
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No workplace is worth your well~being. Do the math~~this is still an employee's market right now. Get yourself a better gig (better is more than money, btw) and put your physical and mental health *FIRST*.
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Good luck! 0 0points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago Both. That job HAS TO GO.
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The fact that she can't let go of it proves how unfocused she is right now. This is an emergency situation, whether they want to believe it or not. 1 1point reply emer the unreal emer the unreal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 3 months ago i agree.
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it's weird she left the kids to fend for themselves. something's really wrong.
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2 2points reply CrazyDogLady CrazyDogLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Came here to say that! Especially the thing with the kids suggests there might be some kind of depression or sth... She definitely needs help.
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2 2points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago It doesn't suggest~~it PROVES. She isn't focused in her priorities anymore due to the stress.
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There MUST BE CHANGE before their children suffer and she's put into a mental health facility. Dramatic?
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It can be construed that way, until you read the news and it shows multiple women being jailed for the same thing. 0 0points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago She has already snapped~~leaving babies *alone* to fend for themselves for hours while she cried? Deal breaker~~CPS would take those kids in an instant.
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1 1point reply Tamra Tamra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago I don't care how pissed off his wife was, that's absolutely no excuse to leave a 3 and 5 year old to their own devices while she cries it out behind a locked door for hours. 38 38points reply Nightshade1972 Nightshade1972 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Seriously--what if one of the kids swallowed their beverage wrong, or choked on a piece of cereal?!
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If Wife is immature enough to lock herself in her room so she can have a self-pitying cryfest, would she even notice if one or both kids had a medical emergency?! She'd probably find a way to blame that on OP, too--"If you'd been here, little Timmy would never have choked!
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This is all *your* fault!" Sounds like OP's better off divorcing her and taking the kids with him. 5 5points reply Load More Replies... CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago Not immature, going through a mental health crises.
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1 1point reply just me just me Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago What's throwing me here is husband came back at 11pm, after being gone 3 hours. That means he left around 8, heck call it 7 to account for travel and rounding errors on the time. At 7pm the young children hadn't eaten dinner?
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The mother couldn't spend an hour getting them to bed and gone back to work (I'm assuming she WFH since she was still there when he had to leave)? Is guess the mom has a health issue going, and more than her reaction seems odd to me. 1 1point reply NamiKoa NamiKoa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Now that you mention it, wouldn’t the father actually have been the one to already have fed the kids at that point?
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His emergency must have come up around 7 or so, at that point it tends to be bedtime for most kids that age. But yes, probably she could have put them down (though we don’t know their situation, I have friends with kids that age where it’s a two person job that takes 2 - 3 hours).
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I feel bad for the wife, she needs a different job. 1 1point reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago No, she works on site.
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He usually WFH, but had to work at the office this time. She's having a mental health crises and the husband doesn't know how to deal with it.
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Best he call a psychologist and get her help, even if she has to go inside for a few weeks. 0 0points reply Bunzilla Bunzilla Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Yep, everything suggests that the wife is essentially being emotionally abused at that job, and she really needs to quit and find a new one.
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But it sounds like she refuses to do so, like so many people in an abusive relationship are made to feel like they can't survive without that relationship/job. Hope he manages to get her to quit and she finds a new job that's better for her. 29 29points reply Vira Vira Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago I think people also forget how friends and family will pressure a person to stay in bad situations.
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It's amazing how many people will acknowledge abusive work environments, or abusive relationships, or toxic households, but when it's right in front of them, they will accuse the victim of being lazy, or weak, or whining. I wouldn't be surprised if keeping the job makes her feel like less of a house-wife/leech and the job itself makes her feel like she can't do any better. People underestimate how their comments about others influence their loved-ones to self abuse.
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6 6points reply Load More Replies... CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago (edited) All the more reason for her to get psychological help right now.
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Even if she left that job today, she desperately needs mental help. 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST BusyLizzy BusyLizzy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago NTA.
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I think the wife's job is pushing her to breaking point and her behaviour suggests a mental heath issue. 55 55points reply Zophra Zophra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago I immediately thought so too!
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Maybe anxiety or depression. 28 28points reply Load More Replies...
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Rebecca Olds Rebecca Olds Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Probably both.....I'm in a somewhat similar situation with a demanding boss and stress filled days. Lashing out at those who care for you is common as well as feeling so bad about yourself that the idea of a new job is daunting and terrifying.
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You begin to feel like you dont know what you're good at cause your boss always degrades what skills you show. I hope they can talk it out and really be there for each other.
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5 5points reply Nikole Nikole Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago And only once you leave do you realize how bad it really was. 6 6points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago YOU need to ditch that job as well.
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No workplace is worth your well~being. Do the math~~this is still an employee's market right now. Get yourself a better gig (better is more than money, btw) and put your physical and mental health *FIRST*.
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Good luck! 0 0points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago Both.
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That job HAS TO GO. The fact that she can't let go of it proves how unfocused she is right now. This is an emergency situation, whether they want to believe it or not.
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1 1point reply emer the unreal emer the unreal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 3 months ago i agree. it's weird she left the kids to fend for themselves. something's really wrong.
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2 2points reply CrazyDogLady CrazyDogLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Came here to say that! Especially the thing with the kids suggests there might be some kind of depression or sth... She definitely needs help.
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2 2points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago It doesn't suggest~~it PROVES. She isn't focused in her priorities anymore due to the stress.
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There MUST BE CHANGE before their children suffer and she's put into a mental health facility. Dramatic?
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It can be construed that way, until you read the news and it shows multiple women being jailed for the same thing. 0 0points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago She has already snapped~~leaving babies *alone* to fend for themselves for hours while she cried? Deal breaker~~CPS would take those kids in an instant.
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1 1point reply Tamra Tamra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago I don't care how pissed off his wife was, that's absolutely no excuse to leave a 3 and 5 year old to their own devices while she cries it out behind a locked door for hours. 38 38points reply Nightshade1972 Nightshade1972 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Seriously--what if one of the kids swallowed their beverage wrong, or choked on a piece of cereal?!
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If Wife is immature enough to lock herself in her room so she can have a self-pitying cryfest, would she even notice if one or both kids had a medical emergency?! She'd probably find a way to blame that on OP, too--"If you'd been here, little Timmy would never have choked!
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This is all *your* fault!" Sounds like OP's better off divorcing her and taking the kids with him. 5 5points reply Load More Replies... CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago Not immature, going through a mental health crises.
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1 1point reply just me just me Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago What's throwing me here is husband came back at 11pm, after being gone 3 hours. That means he left around 8, heck call it 7 to account for travel and rounding errors on the time.
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At 7pm the young children hadn't eaten dinner? The mother couldn't spend an hour getting them to bed and gone back to work (I'm assuming she WFH since she was still there when he had to leave)?
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Is guess the mom has a health issue going, and more than her reaction seems odd to me. 1 1point reply NamiKoa NamiKoa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Now that you mention it, wouldn’t the father actually have been the one to already have fed the kids at that point? His emergency must have come up around 7 or so, at that point it tends to be bedtime for most kids that age.
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But yes, probably she could have put them down (though we don’t know their situation, I have friends with kids that age where it’s a two person job that takes 2 - 3 hours). I feel bad for the wife, she needs a different job. 1 1point reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago No, she works on site.
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He usually WFH, but had to work at the office this time. She's having a mental health crises and the husband doesn't know how to deal with it. Best he call a psychologist and get her help, even if she has to go inside for a few weeks.
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0 0points reply Bunzilla Bunzilla Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Yep, everything suggests that the wife is essentially being emotionally abused at that job, and she really needs to quit and find a new one. But it sounds like she refuses to do so, like so many people in an abusive relationship are made to feel like they can't survive without that relationship/job.
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Hope he manages to get her to quit and she finds a new job that's better for her. 29 29points reply Vira Vira Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago I think people also forget how friends and family will pressure a person to stay in bad situations. It's amazing how many people will acknowledge abusive work environments, or abusive relationships, or toxic households, but when it's right in front of them, they will accuse the victim of being lazy, or weak, or whining.
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I wouldn't be surprised if keeping the job makes her feel like less of a house-wife/leech and the job itself makes her feel like she can't do any better. People underestimate how their comments about others influence their loved-ones to self abuse. 6 6points reply Load More Replies...
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CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 months ago (edited) All the more reason for her to get psychological help right now. Even if she left that job today, she desperately needs mental help. 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O.
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Employee They Disrespected Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them “I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight" I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid 23 Y.O. Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs Also on Bored Panda People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics) 50 Times People Spotted Stupid Design Decisions In Public Places And Just Had To Share Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day 50 Times Teachers Hung The Funniest Signs In Their Classrooms And They Ended Up Being Praised Online 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Employee They Disrespected Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid 23 Y.O.
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Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) “I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) Follow We're also on Instagram and tumblr App Store App Store User Submissions Hey Pandas, How Often Do You Forget Something Important, And What Was The Result? 35replies 21 points Hey Pandas, Share Pics Of Your Halloween Decorations 4comments 22 points This Artist Continues To Create Amazing Logic-Challenging Photo Manipulations (70 New Pics) 5comments 33 points Hey Pandas, What's Something You've Made Yourself?
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(Closed) 6comments 29 points I Created My Own Dark Tarot Deck Featuring Creepy Creatures And Demons (78 Pics) 16comments 53 points This Artist Reimagines Brazilian States As Video Game Characters (22 Pics) 9comments 30 points Hairstylist Shares 30 Women Who Took The Risk Of Cutting Their Hair Short And Got Awesome Results (New Pics) 75comments 51 points Hey Pandas, What Is The Weirdest Name For A Human You've Ever Heard? (Closed) 80replies 21 points Artist Creates Adorable Images Of Dressed-Up Animals With References To Star Wars, The Hobbit And More (44 Pics) 23comments 61 points "An Amazing World Right Under Your Nose": 24 Pictures Of Nature That I Took With A Macro Lens 7comments 43 points Get the App App Store App Store Google News © 2022 Bored Panda
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