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Bored Panda Dad Who Didn’ t Let Anyone Hold His Baby Until His Wife Did It First Is Accused By Family Of Robbing Them” Of This Experience Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 265points 9.1K People, Social Issues1 year ago

Dad Who Didn’ t Let Anyone Hold His Baby Until His Wife Did It First Is Accused By Family Of Robbing Them” Of This Experience

Mindaugas Balčiauskas and
Liucija Adomaite
Anything, even the smallest thing, can spark a family drama. But as we know very well, weddings and baby arrivals are especially predisposed to family feuds.

One such conflict happened to a new dad who shared the story on this r/AITA post. According to the post, the author's wife gave birth to their son in November 2019.

"She had a very complicated pregnancy and ended up needing an emergency c-section which we were aware could happen," he added. His wife also admitted that she'd hate the thought she would be the last to hold their son. Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery.

Apparently, the author's mom and sister were less than happy with the prospect, and that's where the feud began.

New dad has recently shared how he didn t let anyone hold his baby son before his wife woke up from the difficult surgery and did it first br Image credits PoppaLoves h3 And this is what people had to comment on this whole situation

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Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Mindaugas Balčiauskas Mindaugas Balčiauskas Author, BoredPanda staff Photo editor at Bored Panda.

Mindaugas has worked as a freelance photographer mainly doing events, product photography and has a recurring passion for macro photography. Read more » Liucija Adomaite Liucija Adomaite Writer, BoredPanda staff Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting.

She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale.

Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app!

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everyone else with a massive gap. Imagining how traumatic this experience must have been for the mother, her wish is more than understandable and not aknowledging this is unempathic. The baby, however, needs food, warmth, and safety (yet definitely not "interaction" with diverse people).

The skin-to-skin contact can be provided by the father to cater for the latter two; good hospitals these days even encourage the father to get off his shirt and cuddle the newborn while the mother recovers from a just performed c-section. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not vile.

The broader family cannot be robbed of moments with the baby for they are not entitled to it; until the new person can decide for him or herself, any moment with him or her is a gift with no entitlement to it whatsoever. 185 185points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Perfectly said Hans. 44 44points reply Load More Replies...

Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank you. :) 12 12points reply J.Norton J.Norton Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Ohhhhhh, Hans, bless you! I was trying to articulate just this, but my not so simmering "rage" at the nitwits (mom/sister) and their utter audacity and lack of basic compassion had me counting to 100 before I "put pen to paper".............Have a great day!

16 16points reply Syd Syd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago THIS!!!!! WHOLEHEARTEDLY!

The grandma and aunt's attitudes give off an impression that the baby was more of an accessory rather than a new member to the couple's immediate family. That couple was already a family unit, an inner circle with the aunt and grandma being a part of a larger family circle. Once that baby was born into the inner circle, everyone in that circle should have met the baby BEFORE anyone outside that circle did.

10 10points reply Donna Leske Donna Leske Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago THIS. Thank you Hans.

3 3points reply Steph Morgan Steph Morgan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Absolutely spot on 3 3points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I was hoping to get an opinion on skin-to-skin contact that's better than mine. I know they're now pushing it for right after birth, is there any harm in waiting four days? Should the dad have been taking the baby to see the mother if possible, and putting it on her chest for the contact while she was (I presume) on a ventilator?

Should he have been doing the skin-to-skin contact himself? Really, is there any harm in waiting that long? 3 3points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I am not a medical professional, but I do think Babys need the closeness to Mom and Dad.

They feel most protected while with either of them, so skin to skin is very good for mental health. MY question would rather be if they tried to give Baby Momies milk.

That 's possible even if she sleeps/ is under drugs (depending on the drugs). And the Colostrum (first milk) IS VERY beneficial for Baby. Plus: if they did not do that, she will have problems to breastfeed him or even be unable to after 4 days.

Thats very sad. 3 3points reply J Charby J Charby Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Absolutely so well said!!!!

2 2points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Exactly. You have a way of phrasing things just right Hans.

1 1point reply Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thanks! 1 1point reply Tereza Cervenakova Tereza Cervenakova Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Exactly...

I had two c-sections And both times not only my husband was there with me during the surgery, but umediatelly after that He had skin-on-skin bonding with both of our sons, because i couldn't.... It helped him create really strong bond with our kids...

0 0points reply Tobin Kern Tobin Kern Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I agree, but in shorter words... I would have told my mother to piss off and get the f**k over it if she wanted to hold my child in the future too.

0 0points reply Suzy the observer Suzy the observer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Indeed you are right. the poor woman endured Hell to birth her son.

Those moments belong to her. 0 0points reply FrancesCat FrancesCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden.

Click here to view. I most agree with Hans, but shouldn't the BABY herself be #1? Yes, hubby promised his wife, but it wasn't a well-thought-out promise, because it meant a newborn wasn't held in anyone's arms for four full days!

That seems truly cruel, just so the mom can say she was FIRST! -13 -13points reply Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @FrancesCat: in the original Reddit post the father clarified that he and medical staff *of course* held the baby.

Many people there had worried about this. 19 19points reply FrancesCat FrancesCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thanks for the clarification! Hopefully, the Dad got to hold him, too!

6 6points reply Memere Memere Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm pretty sure the father was able to hold his child, the doctor & nurses would have made sure of that. And believe me, that baby would have been held by the nursery staff - that's what they are trained to do! 17 17points reply N G N G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Technically the doctors and nurses will have been the first to "hold" the baby due to the nature of the surgery.

But even leaving aside that pedantry, its not about who's the very first - it's about who is entitled to be among the first - and mum has a significantly higher priority than grandma and auntie! 10 10points reply Mike Crow Mike Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago When our first child was born my wife was having difficulty passing the afterbirth, so I stayed with her and the nurse gave him to my mother-in-law (who was with us in the delivery room for some reason) and she was told to take him to the nurses station to have him cleaned up. Instead she took him to the waiting room and showed him to the family.

I wanted to do that and I am still pissed at her 12 years later. 103 103points reply N G N G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago I believe you, because I believe you've mentioned this before.

Your monster-in-law did your child, you and HER OWN DAUGHTER a massive disservice because she wanted to show off HER new toy (because that's what your new baby was, I'm afraid - that's what all new babies are to people not directly involved in the actual creation of said child who suddenly think they have an entitlement) 48 48points reply Load More Replies... blugeagua blugeagua Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Father in laws can be monsters too. I can imagine my own father in law pulling this crap.

2 2points reply blugeagua blugeagua Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I hope you told her off Mike. What she did was just wrong.

2 2points reply Jacqueline Arana Jacqueline Arana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This reminds me of when I had my child, I did not share on facebook to family and friends my child first and this bothered me. None of the people who shared photos of him asked me they just assumed it was fine.

People need to learn to ask permission when it comes to other people's children regardless of how close they are. 1 1point reply Silre Silre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I can absolutely see my MIL having done that if my husband and I had been able to have children.

I can also see my mother and aunt going full NURSE and not letting her. 0 0points reply Kim Lorton Kim Lorton Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I would be too! And i would've had some big words for her and when I got done...

she would be banned from seeing the baby until they were three months old! Her own dtr??!! What a selfish old b*tch!!!

And as her dtr, i would've backed up my hubby for banning her for three months from seeing the baby!! 0 0points reply Val Val Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago As someone who unintentionally saw my brother's baby before his wife who was recovering from a C-section, you're NTA.

It was the first baby of our generation. Being enthusiastic but very, very naive and unconsiderate, I was already on my way to the hospital before my brother sent me a text that his baby girl was born.

I didn't know anything about births, so I entered their room finding my brother alone with the baby. Still not aware of what I've done. It was only afterwards that I realized that I saw the baby before my sister-in-law and felt really bad.

48 48points reply elStiJneriNO elStiJneriNO Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago the fact you felt bad for it should count for something. If my brother ever gets a kid i'll be enthusiastic almost as if it was my own. 41 41points reply Load More Replies...

anarkzie anarkzie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Hey Val you're also not the asshole, you made an honest mistake and realising it later felt bad about it. 19 19points reply L.M. Frazer L.M.

Frazer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You were enthusiastic for your family....nobody should hold that against you. And, yeah, the fact you felt regretful after learning she hadn't seen him yet (something you hadn't known) means you are a much more decent and considerate person than the people described in this story.

That baby is lucky to have a cool relative like you 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) The order of interest is very, very clear here, biologically, psychologically, and morally. 1 Baby and mother on a shared first place, 2. father, 3.

everyone else with a massive gap. Imagining how traumatic this experience must have been for the mother, her wish is more than understandable and not aknowledging this is unempathic. The baby, however, needs food, warmth, and safety (yet definitely not "interaction" with diverse people).

The skin-to-skin contact can be provided by the father to cater for the latter two; good hospitals these days even encourage the father to get off his shirt and cuddle the newborn while the mother recovers from a just performed c-section. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not vile. The broader family cannot be robbed of moments with the baby for they are not entitled to it; until the new person can decide for him or herself, any moment with him or her is a gift with no entitlement to it whatsoever.

185 185points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Perfectly said Hans. 44 44points reply Load More Replies... Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank you.

:) 12 12points reply J.Norton J.Norton Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Ohhhhhh, Hans, bless you! I was trying to articulate just this, but my not so simmering "rage" at the nitwits (mom/sister) and their utter audacity and lack of basic compassion had me counting to 100 before I "put pen to paper".............Have a great day!

16 16points reply Syd Syd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago THIS!!!!! WHOLEHEARTEDLY! The grandma and aunt's attitudes give off an impression that the baby was more of an accessory rather than a new member to the couple's immediate family.

That couple was already a family unit, an inner circle with the aunt and grandma being a part of a larger family circle. Once that baby was born into the inner circle, everyone in that circle should have met the baby BEFORE anyone outside that circle did.

10 10points reply Donna Leske Donna Leske Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago THIS. Thank you Hans.

3 3points reply Steph Morgan Steph Morgan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Absolutely spot on 3 3points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I was hoping to get an opinion on skin-to-skin contact that's better than mine. I know they're now pushing it for right after birth, is there any harm in waiting four days?

Should the dad have been taking the baby to see the mother if possible, and putting it on her chest for the contact while she was (I presume) on a ventilator? Should he have been doing the skin-to-skin contact himself? Really, is there any harm in waiting that long?

3 3points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I am not a medical professional, but I do think Babys need the closeness to Mom and Dad. They feel most protected while with either of them, so skin to skin is very good for mental health.

MY question would rather be if they tried to give Baby Momies milk. That 's possible even if she sleeps/ is under drugs (depending on the drugs).

And the Colostrum (first milk) IS VERY beneficial for Baby. Plus: if they did not do that, she will have problems to breastfeed him or even be unable to after 4 days. Thats very sad.

3 3points reply J Charby J Charby Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Absolutely so well said!!!! 2 2points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Exactly. You have a way of phrasing things just right Hans.

1 1point reply Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thanks! 1 1point reply Tereza Cervenakova Tereza Cervenakova Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Exactly...

I had two c-sections And both times not only my husband was there with me during the surgery, but umediatelly after that He had skin-on-skin bonding with both of our sons, because i couldn't.... It helped him create really strong bond with our kids... 0 0points reply Tobin Kern Tobin Kern Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I agree, but in shorter words...

I would have told my mother to piss off and get the f**k over it if she wanted to hold my child in the future too. 0 0points reply Suzy the observer Suzy the observer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Indeed you are right. the poor woman endured Hell to birth her son.

Those moments belong to her. 0 0points reply FrancesCat FrancesCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden.

Click here to view. I most agree with Hans, but shouldn't the BABY herself be #1?

Yes, hubby promised his wife, but it wasn't a well-thought-out promise, because it meant a newborn wasn't held in anyone's arms for four full days! That seems truly cruel, just so the mom can say she was FIRST! -13 -13points reply Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @FrancesCat: in the original Reddit post the father clarified that he and medical staff *of course* held the baby.

Many people there had worried about this. 19 19points reply FrancesCat FrancesCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thanks for the clarification! Hopefully, the Dad got to hold him, too!

6 6points reply Memere Memere Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm pretty sure the father was able to hold his child, the doctor & nurses would have made sure of that. And believe me, that baby would have been held by the nursery staff - that's what they are trained to do! 17 17points reply N G N G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Technically the doctors and nurses will have been the first to "hold" the baby due to the nature of the surgery.

But even leaving aside that pedantry, its not about who's the very first - it's about who is entitled to be among the first - and mum has a significantly higher priority than grandma and auntie! 10 10points reply Mike Crow Mike Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago When our first child was born my wife was having difficulty passing the afterbirth, so I stayed with her and the nurse gave him to my mother-in-law (who was with us in the delivery room for some reason) and she was told to take him to the nurses station to have him cleaned up. Instead she took him to the waiting room and showed him to the family.

I wanted to do that and I am still pissed at her 12 years later. 103 103points reply N G N G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago I believe you, because I believe you've mentioned this before. Your monster-in-law did your child, you and HER OWN DAUGHTER a massive disservice because she wanted to show off HER new toy (because that's what your new baby was, I'm afraid - that's what all new babies are to people not directly involved in the actual creation of said child who suddenly think they have an entitlement) 48 48points reply Load More Replies...

blugeagua blugeagua Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Father in laws can be monsters too. I can imagine my own father in law pulling this crap.

2 2points reply blugeagua blugeagua Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I hope you told her off Mike. What she did was just wrong.

2 2points reply Jacqueline Arana Jacqueline Arana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This reminds me of when I had my child, I did not share on facebook to family and friends my child first and this bothered me. None of the people who shared photos of him asked me they just assumed it was fine. People need to learn to ask permission when it comes to other people's children regardless of how close they are.

1 1point reply Silre Silre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I can absolutely see my MIL having done that if my husband and I had been able to have children. I can also see my mother and aunt going full NURSE and not letting her. 0 0points reply Kim Lorton Kim Lorton Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I would be too!

And i would've had some big words for her and when I got done... she would be banned from seeing the baby until they were three months old!

Her own dtr??!! What a selfish old b*tch!!!

And as her dtr, i would've backed up my hubby for banning her for three months from seeing the baby!! 0 0points reply Val Val Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago As someone who unintentionally saw my brother's baby before his wife who was recovering from a C-section, you're NTA. It was the first baby of our generation.

Being enthusiastic but very, very naive and unconsiderate, I was already on my way to the hospital before my brother sent me a text that his baby girl was born. I didn't know anything about births, so I entered their room finding my brother alone with the baby. Still not aware of what I've done.

It was only afterwards that I realized that I saw the baby before my sister-in-law and felt really bad. 48 48points reply elStiJneriNO elStiJneriNO Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago the fact you felt bad for it should count for something. If my brother ever gets a kid i'll be enthusiastic almost as if it was my own.

41 41points reply Load More Replies... anarkzie anarkzie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Hey Val you're also not the asshole, you made an honest mistake and realising it later felt bad about it. 19 19points reply L.M.

Frazer L.M. Frazer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You were enthusiastic for your family....nobody should hold that against you. And, yeah, the fact you felt regretful after learning she hadn't seen him yet (something you hadn't known) means you are a much more decent and considerate person than the people described in this story.

That baby is lucky to have a cool relative like you 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) Popular on Bored Panda 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order User Submissions The Best Microscopic Photos From The Nikon Small World Photomicrography Competition 2022 (92 Pics) I Am So Passionate About Creating Mystical Art, Here Are Some Of The Magical Notebooks I Have Made (23 New Pics) 30 Comics About Making It Through Life While Fighting Mental Health Issues By This Artist “I Own An Official Nanosecond”: 35 Rare Items Owned By Our Community I Photographed This Ukrainian Village Because It Is My Solace That Inspires Me (38 pics) By Changing His Lifestyle And Eating Habits At Age 60, Steve Ramsden Has Successfully Lost Over 60 Lbs And Now Has A Body Of A Bodybuilder Almost finished...

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Employee They Disrespected 23 Y.O. Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics) Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed Follow We're also on Instagram and tumblr App Store App Store User Submissions Hey Pandas, How Often Do You Forget Something Important, And What Was The Result?

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