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Bored Panda Dad Left Shattered When Daughter Chooses Biological Father Over Him Refuses To Walk Her Down The Aisle After ‘ Real Dad’ Passed Away Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 222points User submission 2.8K 227K People, Social Issues1 year ago

Dad Left Shattered When Daughter Chooses Biological Father Over Him Refuses To Walk Her Down The Aisle After ‘ Real Dad’ Passed Away

227Kviews Liucija Adomaite and
Denis Tymulis
This story comes from a dad who hasn't spoken with his daughter in years. "When she was 15 we found out she wasn't my biological daughter and my wife had cheated on me years ago with a friend," he wrote in a heartfelt post on r/AITA that received 21.2k upvotes. The family collapsed after he divorced his wife, and his daughter "started pulling away from him." At one point, she decided to live with her biological father, breaking the author's heart and leaving him very depressed.

Now the situation has changed and the author's daughter reached out to him after years asking if he could walk her down the aisle. After refusing, the dad turned to people online to find out if it was really the right decision.

After not speaking with his daughter for years this father receives a request to walk her down the aisle to which he refuses

Image credits: Neustockimages

It turns out that he s had a very complicated relationship with his daughter who turned away after finding out he is not her biological father

And this is what people had to comment in response to this situation

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! 227Kviews Share on Facebook Liucija Adomaite Liucija Adomaite Author, BoredPanda staff Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting.

She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

Read more » Denis Tymulis Follow Unfollow Denis Tymulis Author, Community member Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding.
Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app!

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He doesn't owe her a thing and the only reason she called is because her bio dad is dead. He is not being an asshole, he is trying to protect his heart and mind by not getting back into that relationship again.

She will only hurt him again. After the wedding was over, she would probably never call him again. 80 80points reply Gin Gin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yep.

She just doesn't like the idea of not having a father to walk her down the aisle. She's just using him to make her wedding 'fit' her ideal. What kind of a person does this to someone who brought them up?

That they thought was their real dad until 15? Not his fault that he wasn't.

She's not worth it. 44 44points reply Load More Replies... P.A.B.

P.A.B. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, Otto, but it was her mother who created the situation in the first place, so the mom does not get a pat on the back for being “ the one parent who’s been there through everything.” 3 3points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I hope the mother ended up walking her down the aisle, the mother is the one parent who's been there through everything. -24 -24points reply just me just me Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago The dad in this was there until she was 20 and cut all ties with him. He reached out, repeatedly, and was rejected each time.

But, yeah, sure. He wasn't there for her.

10 10points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Then why wasn’t she living with the mother instead of the sperm donor? 8 8points reply Remi Flynne Remi Flynne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yep.

Also, isn't the mother the one who cheated? Lied about her daughter's parentage? I am stumped as to why she's blaming the man who raised her.

How is any of this his fault? The man who was probably also devastated at finding out she wasn't his.

Okay, she can reject him if she wants, that is her choice. She can't reasonably come running back and pretend nothing happened if she wants something out of him though.

11 11points reply MyCatsTheRealPanda MyCatsTheRealPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You say it like it's the fault of the men who one didn't know he even had a child for years and the other raised this child and then was heartlessly pushed away and treated like trash. Her mother may or may not have been there, we don't know but she's guilty in this mess too.

Her actions in the first place are what basically flipped these three people's lives upside down. 4 4points reply Katinka Min Katinka Min Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I agree, but I also think just because someone shouts something devastating in an argument, it shoild not blight everybody's life. It sounds like she was in a crisis and she and her Dad didn't communicate well.

Imo, it's more her behaviour after that fight that is relevant. And in the end, the OP can decide what is good for him and what isn't. He's not an asshole for not wanting reconciliation if it endangers his mental health.

7 7points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago While 20 is an adult, it's still pretty young. I might be inclined to give the relationship another shot if I were in his shoes because of that, but after the wedding. Just popping back in because she wants him to playact a role would rankle with me, too, and it doesn't sound like she's matured a whole lot.

So given that it was so devastating the last time she left, it might be better for him to walk away rather than risk that heartbreak again. I can see why he's asking for some reassurance that it's the right thing to do, though.

He was her dad for a long time. That was a baby he held in his arms and thought was his. She was being an immature kid at a low point in her 20 year old life, when a lot of people are flailing about.

I'd need to see something better from her before trying again, though, if I were him. 5 5points reply Joey Marlin Joey Marlin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago She's 26 now though and using him.

24 24points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes. That's the "hasn't matured a whole lot" and "need to see something better from her before trying again" parts of the post. -2 -2points reply Joey Marlin Joey Marlin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Sorry Honu - I thought I was replying to someone else...

My internet connection keeps dropping out and my screen seems to keep jumping about! 2 2points reply MoMcB MoMcB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I get what you mean, but if she had approached with an apology for her behaviour and tried to build bridges (and was genuine) rather than making him full a role in her wedding.

I get the impression that he wouldn't be contacted again after the wedding. 9 9points reply Gabby M Gabby M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden.

Click here to view. So when you were 20, you treated everyone perfectly?

Imagine if you were 15 and found out the person you thought was your dad was not actually your biological dad. I don't think the guy in this situation is the asshole, but I also want to know more about the daughter's perspective.

-5 -5points reply Daria Z Daria Z Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Dealing with the consequences of your actions is a part of learning how to be an adult. She made a choice, behaved like an a-hole, and deserved what she got, imo.

4 4points reply Jessica LanSpe Jessica LanSpe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Thank you for saying that. At 20 years old, she was perfectly capable of understanding the consequences of her actions.

She made this bed, now she has to lay in it. 1 1point reply Jessica LanSpe Jessica LanSpe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago This comment has been deleted. 0 0points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden.

Click here to view. Well, she was very immature when she said she wanted to cut ties, if she changed her mind when she'd grown up a bit, then at that point most people would forgive her and have one more loving relationship in their lives.

He's chosen to refuse love and forgiveness, and I don't think the choice will bring him happiness. I also don't think it will help his relationship with the biological son he prefers, the son is seeing his sister feel rejected and heartbroken.

-20 -20points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago The son he prefers? You mean his actual child who didn’t tell him to foad? The son who is still on his side?

17 17points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago She's only crawling back to him coz she wants him to walk her down the aisle since her biological father had died. She wouldn't have contacted him if her real dad was still alive.

He probably wouldn't even have been invited to the wedding. It's purely for selfish reasons as to why she has attempted contact. She has had years to make contact and to try build the relationship then but noooo, she wouldn't even respond to him trying to contact her.

9 9points reply Mad Dragon Mad Dragon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Agreed. She doesn't want a dad; she wants a prop for her wedding day only.

12 12points reply MyCatsTheRealPanda MyCatsTheRealPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago So he should completely open himself up to her again for her to use him as a prop in her wedding and possibly (honestly probably) never call again. If she actually wanted a relationship again she would have apologized and probably not waited until her real dad died and she needed someone to walk her down the aisle. Also, he doesn't "prefer" his son over her.

How do you even get that from this situation?! 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago NTA You can't tell someone to f off and then, when it is convenient for you, call them back.

It doesn't work like that. The daughter needs to grow up.

Would your friends accept this from you? mine wouldn't.

50 50points reply Patrick O'Harris Patrick O'Harris Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Even if he'd be the biological father, nobody could force him. She broke contact with him and treated him badly. Sure, getting to know "the other dad" is absolutely fine, but the rest is crap.

He doesnt owe her anything, specially after that. 45 45points reply Brent Kaufman Brent Kaufman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Getting to know her 'other dad' who caused so much pain to her family and caused her family to no longer exist (yes, yes, with the cheating wife; one issue at a time), is absolutely fine; if you're kind of amoral.

I think the daughter is the kind of person that would find otherdad to be more of a kindred spirit, than 'not-narcissist dad' who was always there. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments POST deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago When this woman was twenty, she made her decision to cut him out of her life and now she has to deal with the consequences of that decision.

He doesn't owe her a thing and the only reason she called is because her bio dad is dead. He is not being an asshole, he is trying to protect his heart and mind by not getting back into that relationship again.

She will only hurt him again. After the wedding was over, she would probably never call him again.

80 80points reply Gin Gin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yep. She just doesn't like the idea of not having a father to walk her down the aisle.

She's just using him to make her wedding 'fit' her ideal. What kind of a person does this to someone who brought them up? That they thought was their real dad until 15?

Not his fault that he wasn't. She's not worth it. 44 44points reply Load More Replies...

P.A.B. P.A.B. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, Otto, but it was her mother who created the situation in the first place, so the mom does not get a pat on the back for being “ the one parent who’s been there through everything.” 3 3points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden.

Click here to view. I hope the mother ended up walking her down the aisle, the mother is the one parent who's been there through everything. -24 -24points reply just me just me Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago The dad in this was there until she was 20 and cut all ties with him.

He reached out, repeatedly, and was rejected each time. But, yeah, sure. He wasn't there for her.

10 10points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Then why wasn’t she living with the mother instead of the sperm donor? 8 8points reply Remi Flynne Remi Flynne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yep. Also, isn't the mother the one who cheated?

Lied about her daughter's parentage? I am stumped as to why she's blaming the man who raised her.

How is any of this his fault? The man who was probably also devastated at finding out she wasn't his. Okay, she can reject him if she wants, that is her choice.

She can't reasonably come running back and pretend nothing happened if she wants something out of him though. 11 11points reply MyCatsTheRealPanda MyCatsTheRealPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You say it like it's the fault of the men who one didn't know he even had a child for years and the other raised this child and then was heartlessly pushed away and treated like trash.

Her mother may or may not have been there, we don't know but she's guilty in this mess too. Her actions in the first place are what basically flipped these three people's lives upside down.

4 4points reply Katinka Min Katinka Min Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I agree, but I also think just because someone shouts something devastating in an argument, it shoild not blight everybody's life. It sounds like she was in a crisis and she and her Dad didn't communicate well.

Imo, it's more her behaviour after that fight that is relevant. And in the end, the OP can decide what is good for him and what isn't.

He's not an asshole for not wanting reconciliation if it endangers his mental health. 7 7points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago While 20 is an adult, it's still pretty young.

I might be inclined to give the relationship another shot if I were in his shoes because of that, but after the wedding. Just popping back in because she wants him to playact a role would rankle with me, too, and it doesn't sound like she's matured a whole lot.

So given that it was so devastating the last time she left, it might be better for him to walk away rather than risk that heartbreak again. I can see why he's asking for some reassurance that it's the right thing to do, though.

He was her dad for a long time. That was a baby he held in his arms and thought was his.

She was being an immature kid at a low point in her 20 year old life, when a lot of people are flailing about. I'd need to see something better from her before trying again, though, if I were him. 5 5points reply Joey Marlin Joey Marlin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago She's 26 now though and using him.

24 24points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes. That's the "hasn't matured a whole lot" and "need to see something better from her before trying again" parts of the post.

-2 -2points reply Joey Marlin Joey Marlin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Sorry Honu - I thought I was replying to someone else... My internet connection keeps dropping out and my screen seems to keep jumping about!

2 2points reply MoMcB MoMcB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I get what you mean, but if she had approached with an apology for her behaviour and tried to build bridges (and was genuine) rather than making him full a role in her wedding. I get the impression that he wouldn't be contacted again after the wedding.

9 9points reply Gabby M Gabby M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. So when you were 20, you treated everyone perfectly?

Imagine if you were 15 and found out the person you thought was your dad was not actually your biological dad. I don't think the guy in this situation is the asshole, but I also want to know more about the daughter's perspective.

-5 -5points reply Daria Z Daria Z Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Dealing with the consequences of your actions is a part of learning how to be an adult. She made a choice, behaved like an a-hole, and deserved what she got, imo. 4 4points reply Jessica LanSpe Jessica LanSpe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Thank you for saying that.

At 20 years old, she was perfectly capable of understanding the consequences of her actions. She made this bed, now she has to lay in it.

1 1point reply Jessica LanSpe Jessica LanSpe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago This comment has been deleted. 0 0points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden.

Click here to view. Well, she was very immature when she said she wanted to cut ties, if she changed her mind when she'd grown up a bit, then at that point most people would forgive her and have one more loving relationship in their lives.

He's chosen to refuse love and forgiveness, and I don't think the choice will bring him happiness. I also don't think it will help his relationship with the biological son he prefers, the son is seeing his sister feel rejected and heartbroken. -20 -20points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago The son he prefers?

You mean his actual child who didn’t tell him to foad? The son who is still on his side?

17 17points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago She's only crawling back to him coz she wants him to walk her down the aisle since her biological father had died. She wouldn't have contacted him if her real dad was still alive.

He probably wouldn't even have been invited to the wedding. It's purely for selfish reasons as to why she has attempted contact.

She has had years to make contact and to try build the relationship then but noooo, she wouldn't even respond to him trying to contact her. 9 9points reply Mad Dragon Mad Dragon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Agreed.

She doesn't want a dad; she wants a prop for her wedding day only. 12 12points reply MyCatsTheRealPanda MyCatsTheRealPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago So he should completely open himself up to her again for her to use him as a prop in her wedding and possibly (honestly probably) never call again.

If she actually wanted a relationship again she would have apologized and probably not waited until her real dad died and she needed someone to walk her down the aisle. Also, he doesn't "prefer" his son over her. How do you even get that from this situation?!

3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago NTA You can't tell someone to f off and then, when it is convenient for you, call them back. It doesn't work like that.

The daughter needs to grow up. Would your friends accept this from you?

mine wouldn't. 50 50points reply Patrick O'Harris Patrick O'Harris Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Even if he'd be the biological father, nobody could force him. She broke contact with him and treated him badly.

Sure, getting to know "the other dad" is absolutely fine, but the rest is crap. He doesnt owe her anything, specially after that.

45 45points reply Brent Kaufman Brent Kaufman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Getting to know her 'other dad' who caused so much pain to her family and caused her family to no longer exist (yes, yes, with the cheating wife; one issue at a time), is absolutely fine; if you're kind of amoral. I think the daughter is the kind of person that would find otherdad to be more of a kindred spirit, than 'not-narcissist dad' who was always there.

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